
The Psychology of Us
Psychological reflections on what it means to be human
The way we understand ourselves changes when we slow down enough to listen.
The Psychology of Us is a podcast exploring the emotional undercurrents that shape how we think, relate, and live. Hosted by psychology professor RJ Starr, each episode offers a grounded, research-informed reflection on the complexities of modern life — from identity and grief to boundaries, belonging, and emotional maturity.
Anywhere But Here: Longing, Escape and the Myth of Arrival
Longing for a different life doesn’t always mean you’re ready to move—it might mean you’re ready to listen. This episode explores psychological escape, fantasy, burnout, and the myth of arrival. What if the version of you you’ve been seeking elsewhere could be built here, slowly, from the inside out?
Extinction Bursts: Why We Resist Change Before We Adapt
Change feels impossible right before it takes hold. This episode unpacks the extinction burst—when habits and people push back hardest right before letting go. From quitting smoking to walking away from toxic dynamics, learn how to recognize the last gasp of a fading pattern and keep moving forward.
The Age of Shallow Learning: The Cost of Superficial Knowledge
Superficial knowledge gives us confidence without depth. This episode explores how short-form content, overconfidence, and dopamine-driven distraction have reshaped learning—and how to reclaim genuine understanding in a world of sound bites.
Fragmented Focus: Why Our Attention Spans Are Shrinking and How to Reclaim Them
Our attention spans aren’t naturally short—they’ve been engineered to fracture. In this episode, we explore the psychological cost of constant distraction, why depth is disappearing from daily life, and how to push back. Learn how to reclaim your focus in a world built to steal it.
Why People Bully: The Psychology Behind Power and Control
Bullying is less about strength and more about fear, shame, and insecurity. This episode explores the psychology behind domination and control, what fuels aggressive behavior, and how to recognize the internal pain behind the external power play. Whether you've been bullied or found yourself lashing out, this one pulls back the curtain.
The Psychology of Dishonesty: Why People Lie and How to Spot It
Why do we lie—even when we value honesty? This episode explores the psychology behind dishonesty, from self-preservation to social harmony. Learn how lies affect our relationships, our brains, and our moral compass—and how to spot them without becoming cynical.
The Fear of Missing Out: Understanding FOMO in Modern Life
FOMO has ancient roots—but today it’s amplified by algorithms. In this episode, we explore how the fear of missing out affects our mental health, distorts self-worth, and fuels toxic comparison. Learn how to shift from scarcity to presence, so you can reclaim joy, focus, and peace in a culture that thrives on distraction.
The Worry Trap: Why We Overthink and How to Break Free
Overthinking steals energy, sleep, and self-trust. This episode explores the psychology of worry, from perfectionism and anxiety to the illusion of control. Learn why we spiral, what overthinking is really protecting us from, and how to create space between your thoughts and your peace of mind.
Eremitism: The Psychology of Solitude and the Desire to Be Alone
Solitude can heal or harm, depending on how it’s held. This episode explores eremitism—the psychological and historical practice of stepping away from society. From monks to modern hermits to digital detoxers, we explore how solitude affects the brain, why we seek it out, and what it teaches us about self-understanding in an overstimulated world.
The Roots of Anger: Why We Lose Our Cool
Anger is rarely just about the moment—it’s about history, fear, shame, and unmet needs. This episode explores the emotional roots of anger, how it functions, and why we often misread it. Learn how to recognize what your anger is actually protecting, and how to respond instead of just react.
Why People Annoy Us: The Psychology of Irritation
Why do certain people drive us up the wall? This episode unpacks the psychology of irritation—its roots in unmet needs, overstimulation, and personality clashes. Learn how to decode what your triggers are telling you, how to set healthy boundaries, and why annoyance isn’t weakness—it’s a signal worth paying attention to.
The Psychology of Values: The Hidden Compass Guiding Your Life
What really drives your decisions? It’s not your goals—it’s your values. This episode explores the psychology behind what you stand for, how values shape your life, and why internal alignment matters more than external approval. Learn how to define your values and use them as a compass for clarity, purpose, and grounded living.
Ghosting: Why People Disappear and the Psychology of Avoidance
Ghosting isn’t just rude—it’s a psychological defense. This episode explores why people vanish without explanation, how it connects to avoidance, attachment, and anxiety, and why it hurts so deeply. Learn what ghosting reveals about modern relationships, and how to move forward with clarity—whether you’ve been ghosted or you’re tempted to disappear.
The Psychology of Procrastination: Why We Put Things Off
Procrastination isn’t a time problem—it’s an emotional one. This episode explores why we delay, how avoidance protects us from discomfort, and what drives the internal conflict between action and paralysis. Learn how self-compassion, structure, and insight can interrupt the cycle and help you move forward.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: Beyond the Stereotypes
OCD is more than a preference for order—it’s a cycle of fear, obsession, and compulsion that disrupts daily life. This episode breaks down the science of OCD, explores the lived experience, and challenges cultural misconceptions that fuel stigma and misunderstanding. If you've misused the term “OCD,” this one’s for you.
The Psychology of Gaslighting: Reclaim Your Reality
Gaslighting isn’t just emotional manipulation—it’s a psychological strategy that makes you doubt your own mind. This episode unpacks how gaslighting works, where it shows up, and what it does to your brain. Most importantly, it offers clear tools to help you recognize it, name it, and protect your reality from distortion.
The Psychology of Moral Panic: Fear, Backlash and Culture Wars
Why do certain trends trigger public outrage while others go unnoticed? This episode explores the psychology of moral panic—how fear overrides reason, how identity fuels backlash, and why we keep falling for the same cultural battles. Learn how to recognize panic in real time—and stop fear from controlling the conversation.
Political Theater: The Psychology of Manipulating Emotions and Shaping Society
Political theater isn’t just spectacle—it’s strategic. This episode examines how fear, identity, and emotion are manipulated through political performance. From social media to televised debates, learn how the show shapes how we think, vote, and divide—and how to stay grounded in a world of emotional manipulation.
The Psychology of Jealousy: Why We Feel Green with Envy
Jealousy is more than a passing emotion—it’s a powerful clue to what we fear, what we long for, and where we feel insecure. In this episode, we explore the psychology behind jealousy, how it shows up in relationships, social media, and ambition—and how you can transform it into a force for clarity and growth.
The Psychology of Division: Why Some Leaders Thrive on Conflict
Why do some leaders rely on conflict to stay in power? This episode explores the psychology of division—how it works, who benefits, and what it costs us. From social identity theory to the Dark Triad, we examine why division is so effective—and how to resist it.