Essays

Essays on self-awareness, emotional intelligence, identity, and the psychology of living with clarity, purpose, and connection.

These essays offer more than takes — they offer perspective. Drawing from psychology, lived experience, and cultural insight, each piece explores what it means to be self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and human in a complicated world. Written to make you think, feel, and come back to yourself — not just scroll past.

Some truths don’t fit in a post — they need room to unfold.

RJ Starr RJ Starr

The Psychology of the Mass Shooting Script: Why America Accepts the Unacceptable

America follows a grim script after every mass shooting: shock, outrage, silence, and no change. The cycle is not just political gridlock but a deeper psychological paralysis—numbness, identity, helplessness, and fear that keeps reform at bay. This essay unpacks the cultural and emotional forces that make the unacceptable feel inevitable.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

The Comedy of Cruelty: Ridicule as Entertainment in Talk Shows

Talk shows have long disguised ridicule as humor, turning Whitney Houston’s decline and other celebrity struggles into punchlines. What looks like entertainment is really a ritual of public shaming that erodes empathy, normalizes cruelty, and profits from human suffering. Refusing to laugh is not trivial—it is an act of resistance.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

The Collapse of Shared Reality: Why We No Longer Agree on What’s Real

The collapse of shared reality isn’t just a political problem—it’s a psychological reckoning. This essay explores why belief is less about facts and more about emotional need, identity, and trust. When people no longer agree on what’s real, the path forward isn’t correction—it’s psychological repair.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

Emotional Posture as a Psychological Framework

We don’t just feel emotions—we hold them. This essay explores emotional posture as a framework for understanding how individuals and systems unconsciously structure emotion to stay intact. From personal bracing to institutional rigidity, posture reveals what we’re protecting, what we’ve survived, and what might be ready to shift.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

The Psychology of Routine: Structure, Stability, and the Architecture of Daily Life

Routines are often dismissed as boring or rigid, but they offer psychological clarity, emotional regulation, and a sense of continuity in an overstimulated world. This essay explores the developmental, emotional, and cognitive foundations of routine, challenging the glorification of spontaneity and reclaiming the quiet power of structured living.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

Living Through Roles: A Framework for Understanding Identity Orientation

We all live through roles—some conscious, most not. This essay explores twelve identity orientations as emotional strategies we adopt to navigate meaning, belonging, and selfhood. Not pathologies, not personalities, but lived structures of protection and coherence. The task is not to discard them, but to grow beyond them.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

The Silent Power of Boredom: Why Your Brain Needs More ‘Nothing Time’

Your brain doesn’t shut down when you're bored—it shifts. In a world addicted to stimulation, boredom may be the last place you can meet your true thoughts. This essay explores the neuroscience, emotional clarity, and creative power hidden in nothingness. Because what grows in silence might be the thing you’ve been missing.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

They Were There – A Human Reckoning with What Healthcare Workers Lived Through

They kept showing up while the world unraveled. This essay offers a psychologically grounded reflection on what healthcare workers lived through during the COVID-19 crisis—not as victims, not as heroes, but as people. It invites readers to understand the emotional cost of sustained steadiness, and to bear witness now, while it still matters.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

The Charisma Paradox: Why Likable People Often Feel Like Impostors

That colleague who lights up the room? They might be faking it harder than you. This essay explores why socially fluent, likable people often feel like impostors—caught between charm and self-doubt. When charisma becomes performance, confidence erodes. Here's what we don’t see behind the smile—and why it matters.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

Why Your Brain is Addicted to ‘Maybe’ (And How to Break Free)

Why do we get stuck refreshing, replaying, and rereading when nothing changes? This essay unpacks the neuroscience of uncertainty, the dopamine trap of anticipation, and the Zeigarnik effect that keeps unfinished situations lingering in our minds—offering grounded, psychology-based tools to break free from the mental loops of “maybe.”

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

The Theater of Threat: How Emotional Immaturity, Spectacle Psychology, and Desensitization Are Undermining Global Sanity

Political leaders now reference World War III like it’s a soundbite. But beneath the drama lies something more dangerous: a culture addicted to threat, a public numbed by repetition, and leaders emotionally unequipped to lead. This essay explores the psychology behind the rhetoric—and how we can stay awake in a world that rewards escalation.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

The People We Loved Along the Way

As we move through life, we form deep bonds that feel permanent—childhood best friends, chosen families in our twenties, shared lives in love. But time has its own rhythm. People drift, chapters close, and yet the love remains. This essay reflects on the quiet grace of letting go while honoring those who once meant everything. Not lost—just carried differently, sweet for having been.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

The Archetypal Foundations of Ontological Experience

What if your disconnection isn’t depression, but a loss of archetypal grounding? This essay explores how ancient psychic structures shape our sense of self, purpose, and meaning. Drawing from Jungian psychology, it offers a path back to depth, presence, and inner coherence in a world that often rewards performance over being.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

More Than Just Clutter

Hoarding isn’t about mess—it’s about memory, safety, and emotional overwhelm. This article unpacks the difference between clutter and hoarding disorder, challenging cultural mockery and offering a more compassionate, psychologically informed lens. Behind every pile is a story worth understanding.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

Still Wanting More: On Aging, Place, and Visibility

Even when life appears full, there can be a quiet ache—a longing to feel visible, vital, and connected. This essay explores the emotional dissonance of midlife: the beauty you’ve built, the distance you feel, and the dignity of still wanting more. It’s not regret. It’s the quiet pulse of being fully alive.

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RJ Starr RJ Starr

Solitude and Loneliness: A Psychological Exploration

Solitude is not loneliness—it’s a skill rooted in emotional clarity and self-trust. This essay explores the psychological difference between being alone and being lonely, why we often confuse the two, and how reclaiming solitude can become one of the most powerful acts of emotional maturity.

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  • Emotional intelligence isn’t just a workplace skill or buzzword. It's the foundation of how we stay human in an overstimulated world. It’s how we create safety, connection, and clarity in the relationships that matter most.

  • Overthinking is rarely about insight. It’s about emotional avoidance disguised as analysis. True understanding begins not in your thoughts, but in your willingness to stay with what’s uncomfortable without trying to fix or escape it immediately.

  • Self-awareness is not a luxury or a personality trait, it’s a psychological infrastructure. Without it, we repeat patterns, misread situations, and lose the ability to act with intention instead of reaction.

  • Boundaries are not about pushing people away. They’re how we take emotional responsibility for what we can handle, what we value, and how we want to be treated in relationships that actually matter to us.

  • Emotional maturity isn’t measured by how little we feel. It’s shown in how we carry big emotions without letting them hijack our behavior. It’s the quiet strength of presence, not performance.

  • You don’t have to erase your past to heal, you just have to stop letting it silently write the present. Healing is a return to authorship over your life, not a denial of what shaped you.

  • Clarity often feels like calm. Not because everything is perfect, but because you’re no longer performing, pretending, or explaining yourself to people who never learned how to listen with care.

  • Self-trust is not about always knowing the answer. It’s about knowing you can stay present, even when you don’t. It’s a psychological anchor in a world that rewards dissociation and speed.

  • When we can name what we’re feeling without shame, we begin to reclaim agency over our inner life. Language is a psychological bridge between experience and understanding; it lets us carry what we used to avoid.

  • You are not “too much.” You are simply carrying the emotional weight of people who never learned to sit with discomfort, so they handed it to you instead.