About RJ Starr

Academic Psychologist, Author, Educator, and Host of The Psychology of Us

Welcome. I’m RJ Starr, an academic psychologist working to make psychology feel human, grounded, and usable in real life.

I’ve spent my life as a student of psychology — but the real work has always been about seeing people more clearly, starting with myself.

Over the years, I’ve studied not just the science of the mind, but the lived realities behind it: how we carry our histories, how we make meaning, and how we wrestle with the emotional weight of being human. My work is grounded in existential psychology and shaped by years in the classroom, the consultation room and corporate settings, where the questions are real, urgent, and often messy.

What I offer is a blend of theory and lived experience—bringing clarity to the emotional patterns that shape our lives. Through books, essays, academia, and my podcast, The Psychology of Us, I invite readers and listeners into deeper reflection: on identity, relationships, cultural pressure, and the quiet forces that govern our behavior.

But this work isn’t abstract. I create tools—practical, psychological, and emotionally literate—for people who want to examine their inner narratives, challenge inherited beliefs, and live with greater self-awareness, integrity, and intention.

Whether I’m guiding students, working with employees or leaders, or hosting raw, layered conversations on air, the goal is always the same: to illuminate the emotional architecture behind our choices, our disconnection, and our desire to grow—and to offer a path toward something more honest, humane, and sustainable.

If you're seeking more than just explanation—if you're looking for transformation—you're in the right place. Whether you're beginning your journey or returning to deepen it, I hope this work meets you with clarity, depth, and a kind of resonance that lingers.

Professor RJ Starr, Department of Psychology
Prof RJ Starr
Prof RJ Starr
Prof RJ Starr
Prof RJ Starr

  • What am I feeling right now, beneath the surface?

    Sometimes our loudest feelings aren’t our deepest. Beneath anger might be fear, beneath irritation might be grief. This question invites you to look past the initial wave and name what’s real.

  • Is this emotion asking to be acted on, or simply witnessed?

    Not every feeling needs a solution. Some need acknowledgment, not action. Let this question help you discern whether your next step is expression, stillness, or something else entirely.

  • What part of me is speaking the loudest today, and does it need to be in charge?

    Sometimes it’s the inner child, the perfectionist, the protector, the skeptic. All have their place, but not all should lead. This question invites you to become the observer, not the voice.

  • Am I seeking clarity, am I seeking or comfort disguised as control?

    There’s a difference between wanting to understand and needing to feel safe. This question helps you notice when the desire for answers is really a way to self-soothe through certainty.

  • What do I want to say, but don’t feel safe saying?

    Unspoken truths don’t disappear, they go underground. This prompt asks what’s sitting in your throat or chest, waiting for permission.

  • Is my reaction aligned with the truth of this moment, or a wound from another one?

    When the past echoes into the present, we often react to ghosts. This question creates space to separate your history from what’s actually happening now.

  • What do I need to name, even if I’m not ready to fix it?

    Clarity begins with naming. You don’t have to act, but giving language to your internal world helps you meet it with more honesty.

  • Where does my body feel tight, and what might that tension be holding?

    The body often knows before the mind does. This is a prompt to check in with your physical state and see what emotion may be living there.

  • Am I responding to this person, or to my history with people like them?

    Projection is powerful. This reflection invites you to pause and ask whether your reaction is based on this interaction—or everything it reminds you of.

  • What would it feel like to stay with this discomfort, just for a few breaths?

    Avoidance can feel automatic. This question helps you practice emotional endurance: the willingness to stay instead of escape.

  • What do I know, beneath the noise?

    Beneath the commentary, the fear, and the overthinking, there’s often a quiet knowing. This prompt invites you to locate it.

  • If I didn’t need to be right, what would I want instead?

    We often confuse being right with being safe or seen. This question loosens the grip of defensiveness and asks what your deeper need really is.

  • What am I avoiding by staying busy or reactive today?

    Busyness and reactivity can serve as distractions. This question opens the door to what’s waiting in the silence beneath your activity.

  • Is this silence mine, or am I trying not to cause a scene?

    Stillness can be strength, but it can also be fear in disguise. This reflection asks whether your quiet is chosen—or conditioned.

  • If I paused here, what might I learn about myself?

    The pause is not empty. It’s often the space where self-awareness begins. This final prompt invites curiosity in place of automaticity.

Professional Memberships

I remain connected to the research, scholarship, and ethics of psychology through membership in the following organizations:

  • American Psychological Association (Division 2: Society for the Teaching of Psychology; Division 45: Society for the Psychological Study of Culture, Ethnicity and Race)

  • Society for the Psychological Study of Social Issues (SPSSI)

  • American Educational Research Association (AERA)

  • International Society for the Scholarship of Teaching and Learning (ISSOTL)