About RJ Starr

Academic Psychologist and Educator Exploring Identity, Emotion, and the Architecture of Human Experience

Welcome. I’m RJ Starr, an academic psychologist committed to making psychology clear, grounded, and usable in real life.

My work explores the architecture of mind, identity, and emotion: how histories are carried, how meaning is constructed and disrupted, and what it costs to sustain coherence in a fragmented cultural landscape. It draws from existential psychology, cognitive science, narrative theory, and affective neuroscience, informed by more than thirty years of academic work, applied psychological research, and direct engagement with human complexity.

I focus on the internal mechanics of perception and emotional regulation—how people form identities, maintain coherence, and adapt under pressure. Rather than offering prescriptive advice, I develop psychological frameworks that illuminate experience: from the performance of emotional avoidance to the symbolic burden of self-construction in modern life.

This work takes many forms. I write essays, books, and structured courses; I host a globally syndicated podcast, The Psychology of Us; and I develop original models like The Emotionally Avoidant Loop and The Performance of Cruelty to help clarify complex emotional dynamics in everyday life. My academic writing examines the intersection of symbolic processing, disconnection, and the psychological impact of cultural acceleration.

Whether you’re here for professional insight or personal reflection, I hope this work offers not just explanation, but resonance—the kind that clarifies, the kind that stays with you.

Professor RJ Starr, Department of Psychology
Prof RJ Starr
Prof RJ Starr
Prof RJ Starr
Prof RJ Starr

Professional Memberships

I maintain active engagement with the fields of psychology and education through membership in the following professional organizations, all of which support ongoing research, ethical practice, and the advancement of public understanding:

  • American Psychological Association

    • Division 2: Society for the Teaching of Psychology;

    • Division 45: Society for the Psychological Study of Culture, Ethnicity and Race

  • Society for the Psychological Study of Social Issues (SPSSI)

  • American Association of University Professors (AAUP)

  • Council for the Advancement of Higher Education (CAHE)

  • American Educational Research Association (AERA)

  • International Society for the Scholarship of Teaching and Learning (ISSOTL)

  • What am I feeling right now, beneath the surface?

    Sometimes our loudest feelings aren’t our deepest. Beneath anger might be fear, beneath irritation might be grief. This question invites you to look past the initial wave and name what’s real.

  • Is this emotion asking to be acted on, or simply witnessed?

    Not every feeling needs a solution. Some need acknowledgment, not action. Let this question help you discern whether your next step is expression, stillness, or something else entirely.

  • What part of me is speaking the loudest today, and does it need to be in charge?

    Sometimes it’s the inner child, the perfectionist, the protector, the skeptic. All have their place, but not all should lead. This question invites you to become the observer, not the voice.

  • Am I seeking clarity, am I seeking or comfort disguised as control?

    There’s a difference between wanting to understand and needing to feel safe. This question helps you notice when the desire for answers is really a way to self-soothe through certainty.

  • What do I want to say, but don’t feel safe saying?

    Unspoken truths don’t disappear, they go underground. This prompt asks what’s sitting in your throat or chest, waiting for permission.

  • Is my reaction aligned with the truth of this moment, or a wound from another one?

    When the past echoes into the present, we often react to ghosts. This question creates space to separate your history from what’s actually happening now.

  • What do I need to name, even if I’m not ready to fix it?

    Clarity begins with naming. You don’t have to act, but giving language to your internal world helps you meet it with more honesty.

  • Where does my body feel tight, and what might that tension be holding?

    The body often knows before the mind does. This is a prompt to check in with your physical state and see what emotion may be living there.

  • Am I responding to this person, or to my history with people like them?

    Projection is powerful. This reflection invites you to pause and ask whether your reaction is based on this interaction—or everything it reminds you of.

  • What would it feel like to stay with this discomfort, just for a few breaths?

    Avoidance can feel automatic. This question helps you practice emotional endurance: the willingness to stay instead of escape.

  • What do I know, beneath the noise?

    Beneath the commentary, the fear, and the overthinking, there’s often a quiet knowing. This prompt invites you to locate it.

  • If I didn’t need to be right, what would I want instead?

    We often confuse being right with being safe or seen. This question loosens the grip of defensiveness and asks what your deeper need really is.

  • What am I avoiding by staying busy or reactive today?

    Busyness and reactivity can serve as distractions. This question opens the door to what’s waiting in the silence beneath your activity.

  • Is this silence mine, or am I trying not to cause a scene?

    Stillness can be strength, but it can also be fear in disguise. This reflection asks whether your quiet is chosen—or conditioned.

  • If I paused here, what might I learn about myself?

    The pause is not empty. It’s often the space where self-awareness begins. This final prompt invites curiosity in place of automaticity.