Most people think values are something you write down. But real values show up in quiet restraint—when you could do something impulsive, easy, or reactive… and you choose not to. This episode explores how values become identity anchors, how rationalizations erode clarity, and why agency begins with the words, “I could, but I’m not going to.”

Why do we feel a flash of urgency when someone’s in front of us—even when we’re already moving fast? This episode unpacks the psychology behind needing to be first, from traffic habits to emotional dominance. It’s not about speed. It’s about power, insecurity, and what we fear it means to be second.

Sarcasm is clever, funny, and often praised as wit—but what does it really communicate? In this episode of The Psychology of Us, we explore the emotional cost of sarcasm, why people use it, and how it shapes trust, vulnerability, and relational safety. Not all jokes are harmless. Some are emotional messages in disguise.

Why do we feel unsettled when everything’s fine? This episode explores existential anxiety—the quiet ache that arises in moments of stillness, success, or change. It’s not dysfunction. It’s consciousness. And it may be the beginning of something honest: reclaiming your life from autopilot.

Jealousy isn’t just insecurity—it’s a complex emotional response rooted in biology, attachment, and identity. In this episode, Professor RJ Starr unpacks why romantic jealousy hits so hard, what it reveals about us, and how to navigate it without shame or control. A thoughtful look at one of our most misunderstood emotions.

As we age, memory becomes more than recall—it becomes meaning-making. This episode explores why older adults rework their memories, not to deceive, but to reclaim dignity, continuity, and emotional truth. A profound look at how memory, aging, and storytelling intersect in the human need to feel whole.

Why does the reflection in the mirror often feel like a stranger? In this episode, Professor RJ Starr explores the psychology of self-perception, aging, and identity—revealing how memory, emotion, and social feedback shape the way we see ourselves, and why it rarely aligns with who we truly are inside.

If your dreams feel like they’re shouting at you—loud, vivid, and emotionally overwhelming—this episode unpacks why. From emotional overload to sensory sensitivity, your brain may be trying to speak louder than your waking life allows. Let’s explore what your mind is really trying to say—and how to turn the volume down.

Most people don't realize their certainty is built on air. In this episode, RJ Starr unpacks the psychology of confident ignorance—how our minds mistake familiarity for understanding, and how distraction and shortcut thinking quietly dismantle our ability to handle complexity, conflict, and real life.

Clothing doesn’t just reflect who we are—it shapes how we think, feel, and interact. In this episode of The Psychology of Us, Professor RJ Starr explores the mental effects of what we wear, how enclothed cognition works, and why dressing with intention can enhance confidence, identity, and psychological clarity.

What does it cost to be liked? In this episode, Professor RJ Starr explores the psychology of approval-seeking—why our brains treat rejection like danger, and how chasing acceptance can quietly erode our sense of self. This is a call to stop performing, start telling the truth, and live from your own center.

Our sense of right and wrong isn’t as rational as we think. In this episode, we explore the psychology of ethics—how moral beliefs are formed, why dogma feels comforting, and how to question our certainties without losing our values.

High IQ doesn’t equal high emotional maturity. In this episode, I explore why some of the brightest minds make the messiest emotional choices—and how overthinking can become avoidance. If you’ve ever felt smart but emotionally stuck, this one’s for you.

Violence isn’t just spectacle—it’s emotional rehearsal. This episode explores our cultural obsession with violent media, the neuroscience behind its appeal, and what it reveals about unresolved power, trauma, and control. Why does aggression excite us? And what are we really looking for when we choose it?

When we lose the spaces that once held us, it can feel like losing a part of ourselves. In this episode, we explore the concept of the memory home—why some places matter far beyond their walls, and how to process the grief and disorientation that comes when they’re gone.

Some moments don’t call for action. They call for presence. This episode explores the psychology of bearing witness—why simply staying emotionally open in the face of grief, beauty, or injustice is more powerful than we think. For anyone who’s felt helpless but still showed up, this conversation is for you.

What if the real you isn’t hidden—but unfinished? This episode challenges the popular myth of “finding yourself” and introduces the psychology of self-authorship. Learn why identity is something you construct, not uncover—and how to start living as the author of your own life.

Waiting isn’t neutral—it activates stress, triggers old patterns, and wears down relationships. This episode explores the psychology of impatience, the cultural roots of urgency, and how to retrain our minds to handle delays with more calm, clarity, and control.

Longing for a different life doesn’t always mean you’re ready to move—it might mean you’re ready to listen. This episode explores psychological escape, fantasy, burnout, and the myth of arrival. What if the version of you you’ve been seeking elsewhere could be built here, slowly, from the inside out?

Change feels impossible right before it takes hold. This episode unpacks the extinction burst—when habits and people push back hardest right before letting go. From quitting smoking to walking away from toxic dynamics, learn how to recognize the last gasp of a fading pattern and keep moving forward.