The Psychology of Us
Psychological reflections on what it means to be human
The way we understand ourselves changes when we slow down enough to listen.
The Psychology of Us is a podcast exploring the emotional undercurrents that shape how we think, relate, and live. Hosted by psychology professor RJ Starr, each episode offers a grounded, research-informed reflection on the complexities of modern life — from identity and grief to boundaries, belonging, and emotional maturity.
The Psychology of Honor: Reclaiming a Lost Virtue in an Age of Image and Convenience
Honor once shaped how people lived—an inner compass linking values, behavior, and self-respect. Today, it’s been replaced by image, attention, and performance. This episode explores what honor means in modern psychological terms: how integrity becomes fragmented, how to reclaim it, and why living by principle still matters in an age of convenience.
The Hidden Anxiety of Thanksgiving: Why Togetherness Doesn’t Always Feel Like Connection
Thanksgiving looks like connection, but often it’s performance. In this episode, RJ Starr unpacks the quiet anxiety that hides beneath gratitude—the emotional exhaustion of keeping peace, following the script, and mistaking harmony for love. What if real connection begins with permission, presence, and the honesty to simply be human together?
When Belief Feels Like Magic: The Psychology of Manifestation
Manifestation is often treated as mystical or divine—but psychology tells a different story. This episode explores the real mechanisms behind why belief feels like magic: how focus, attention, and emotion shape our perception of reality. A grounded, human look at hope, control, and meaning in modern life.
The Psychology of the Commons: Why Some People Care When No One’s Watching
Why do some people act responsibly when no one’s watching—while others stop caring the moment accountability disappears? In this episode, RJ Starr explores the psychology of the commons: how internal conscience, emotional regulation, and social belonging shape whether we see ourselves as caretakers or bystanders in everyday life.
The Psychology of Having an Opinion: Why We Care How Other People Live
A lighthearted classroom moment on Halloween becomes an exploration of something deeper: why we care how other people live. In this episode, RJ Starr examines the psychology of unsolicited opinions—the need for control, the comfort of conformity, and the emotional maturity it takes to let others be. A reflection on ego, empathy, and the quiet art of non-interference.
Becoming Real: The Psychology of Selfhood in an Imitative Age
The desire to be real isn’t shallow — it’s one of the deepest human drives. What’s changed is the method, not the motive. We’ve learned to perform sincerity, to brand vulnerability, to curate imperfection. Beneath the performance, though, is a genuine hunger for coherence: to be one person across the many selves we inhabit. Becoming real, in this sense, is not about exposure or transparency — it’s about integration. It’s the quiet, ongoing work of inhabiting your own mind without needing an audience to confirm you exist.
The Psychology of Restraint: The Quiet Strength Within | Professor RJ Starr
Restraint isn’t suppression—it’s strength held steady. In this episode, Professor RJ Starr explores the psychology of restraint as a form of emotional clarity and self-command. In an age of constant reaction, he examines why the ability to pause, reflect, and choose deliberately may be the truest measure of freedom and maturity.
The Psychology of Self Righteousness
Self-righteousness feels like strength but often masks vulnerability. It comforts the person who wears it but corrodes the very connections it claims to protect. True wisdom balances conviction with humility. The goal isn't to be right at all costs, but to remain in relationship.
Mean World Syndrome: The Psychology of Fearful Perception
Mean world syndrome explains why a steady diet of fear based media can make everyday life feel hostile and unsafe. This talk traces the psychology behind that distortion, availability and negativity biases, hypervigilance, and the collapse of trust, then maps the modern engines of doomscrolling. Most important, it offers practical ways to reclaim perception, invest in local reality, and rebuild a grounded sense of safety.
The Psychology of Interruptions: Power, Anxiety, and Disregard in Everyday Talk
Interruptions aren’t just slips of the tongue. They’re loaded signals that reveal power, anxiety, and the unspoken rules of our relationships. From politics to family conversations, cutting someone off tells us who feels entitled to speak and who is left unheard. In this episode, we look at why interruptions happen, what they communicate, and how to repair the damage they cause.
The Psychology of Dehumanization and Moral Disengagement
Cruelty rarely begins with villains. It begins with ordinary people, ordinary language, and ordinary justifications that make harm feel acceptable. Dehumanization strips others of their humanity, and moral disengagement silences our conscience. Together, they explain how we excuse the inexcusable—and how we can choose differently.
Special Edition: An Existential Psychology Professor’s Response to the Current Cultural Chaos
A special edition of “The Psychology of Us” podcast. Professor RJ Starr shares thoughts on living where your feet are, offering an existential psychology professor’s response to the cultural chaos of our time.
The Psychology of Entitlement: Why Some People Always Feel Owed
Entitlement isn’t just arrogance—it’s a way of seeing the world that assumes the rules don’t apply equally. From overindulgent parenting to consumer culture and social media validation, entitlement grows when desire and deserving become blurred. This episode explores its roots, its costs, and the path to healthier reciprocity.
The Psychology of Empathy: Why It Matters More Than You Think
Empathy is often misunderstood as kindness or politeness, but psychology shows it is a skill that shapes every relationship we have. In this episode, Professor RJ Starr explores how empathy develops, the cultural and psychological barriers that block it, and the practical ways it can be learned and practiced to create connection, trust, and repair in a divided world.
The Need to Be Offended: A Psychological Look at Outrage Culture
Why do so many people seem to look for reasons to be offended? In this episode, Professor RJ Starr unpacks the psychology behind outrage culture—how offense protects identity, signals virtue, creates belonging, and offers control in uncertain times. Discover what drives the reflex and how awareness can free us from it
Their View, Your Mirror: The Psychology of Envy
When someone shares a beautiful moment, do you feel happy for them — or start measuring yourself against it? This episode unpacks the psychology of envy, why it’s so common, and how to replace it with genuine, selfless joy.
I Could, But I’m Not Going To: The Quiet Power of Values in Action
Most people think values are something you write down. But real values show up in quiet restraint—when you could do something impulsive, easy, or reactive… and you choose not to. This episode explores how values become identity anchors, how rationalizations erode clarity, and why agency begins with the words, “I could, but I’m not going to.”
The Psychology of Needing to Be First
Why do we feel a flash of urgency when someone’s in front of us—even when we’re already moving fast? This episode unpacks the psychology behind needing to be first, from traffic habits to emotional dominance. It’s not about speed. It’s about power, insecurity, and what we fear it means to be second.
The Psychology of Sarcasm
Sarcasm is clever, funny, and often praised as wit—but what does it really communicate? In this episode of The Psychology of Us, we explore the emotional cost of sarcasm, why people use it, and how it shapes trust, vulnerability, and relational safety. Not all jokes are harmless. Some are emotional messages in disguise.
The Quiet Panic of Being Alive
Why do we feel unsettled when everything’s fine? This episode explores existential anxiety—the quiet ache that arises in moments of stillness, success, or change. It’s not dysfunction. It’s consciousness. And it may be the beginning of something honest: reclaiming your life from autopilot.