The Psychology of Us

Psychological reflections on what it means to be human

The way we understand ourselves changes when we slow down enough to listen.

The Psychology of Us is a podcast exploring the emotional undercurrents that shape how we think, relate, and live. Hosted by psychology professor RJ Starr, each episode offers a grounded, research-informed reflection on the complexities of modern life — from identity and grief to boundaries, belonging, and emotional maturity.

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The Psychology of Self Righteousness

Self-righteousness feels like strength but often masks vulnerability. It comforts the person who wears it but corrodes the very connections it claims to protect. True wisdom balances conviction with humility. The goal isn't to be right at all costs, but to remain in relationship.


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Mean World Syndrome: The Psychology of Fearful Perception

Mean world syndrome explains why a steady diet of fear based media can make everyday life feel hostile and unsafe. This talk traces the psychology behind that distortion, availability and negativity biases, hypervigilance, and the collapse of trust, then maps the modern engines of doomscrolling. Most important, it offers practical ways to reclaim perception, invest in local reality, and rebuild a grounded sense of safety.

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The Psychology of Interruptions: Power, Anxiety, and Disregard in Everyday Talk

Interruptions aren’t just slips of the tongue. They’re loaded signals that reveal power, anxiety, and the unspoken rules of our relationships. From politics to family conversations, cutting someone off tells us who feels entitled to speak and who is left unheard. In this episode, we look at why interruptions happen, what they communicate, and how to repair the damage they cause.

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The Psychology of Dehumanization and Moral Disengagement

Cruelty rarely begins with villains. It begins with ordinary people, ordinary language, and ordinary justifications that make harm feel acceptable. Dehumanization strips others of their humanity, and moral disengagement silences our conscience. Together, they explain how we excuse the inexcusable—and how we can choose differently.

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The Psychology of Entitlement: Why Some People Always Feel Owed

Entitlement isn’t just arrogance—it’s a way of seeing the world that assumes the rules don’t apply equally. From overindulgent parenting to consumer culture and social media validation, entitlement grows when desire and deserving become blurred. This episode explores its roots, its costs, and the path to healthier reciprocity.

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The Psychology of Empathy: Why It Matters More Than You Think

Empathy is often misunderstood as kindness or politeness, but psychology shows it is a skill that shapes every relationship we have. In this episode, Professor RJ Starr explores how empathy develops, the cultural and psychological barriers that block it, and the practical ways it can be learned and practiced to create connection, trust, and repair in a divided world.

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The Need to Be Offended: A Psychological Look at Outrage Culture

Why do so many people seem to look for reasons to be offended? In this episode, Professor RJ Starr unpacks the psychology behind outrage culture—how offense protects identity, signals virtue, creates belonging, and offers control in uncertain times. Discover what drives the reflex and how awareness can free us from it

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Their View, Your Mirror: The Psychology of Envy

When someone shares a beautiful moment, do you feel happy for them — or start measuring yourself against it? This episode unpacks the psychology of envy, why it’s so common, and how to replace it with genuine, selfless joy.

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I Could, But I’m Not Going To: The Quiet Power of Values in Action

Most people think values are something you write down. But real values show up in quiet restraint—when you could do something impulsive, easy, or reactive… and you choose not to. This episode explores how values become identity anchors, how rationalizations erode clarity, and why agency begins with the words, “I could, but I’m not going to.”

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The Psychology of Needing to Be First

Why do we feel a flash of urgency when someone’s in front of us—even when we’re already moving fast? This episode unpacks the psychology behind needing to be first, from traffic habits to emotional dominance. It’s not about speed. It’s about power, insecurity, and what we fear it means to be second.

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The Psychology of Sarcasm

Sarcasm is clever, funny, and often praised as wit—but what does it really communicate? In this episode of The Psychology of Us, we explore the emotional cost of sarcasm, why people use it, and how it shapes trust, vulnerability, and relational safety. Not all jokes are harmless. Some are emotional messages in disguise.

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The Quiet Panic of Being Alive

Why do we feel unsettled when everything’s fine? This episode explores existential anxiety—the quiet ache that arises in moments of stillness, success, or change. It’s not dysfunction. It’s consciousness. And it may be the beginning of something honest: reclaiming your life from autopilot.

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Why Jealousy Hits So Hard: The Psychology of Rivalry, Love, and Insecurity

Jealousy isn’t just insecurity—it’s a complex emotional response rooted in biology, attachment, and identity. In this episode, Professor RJ Starr unpacks why romantic jealousy hits so hard, what it reveals about us, and how to navigate it without shame or control. A thoughtful look at one of our most misunderstood emotions.

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Let Them Tell the Story: Aging, Memory, and the Right to Reimagine

As we age, memory becomes more than recall—it becomes meaning-making. This episode explores why older adults rework their memories, not to deceive, but to reclaim dignity, continuity, and emotional truth. A profound look at how memory, aging, and storytelling intersect in the human need to feel whole.

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Beyond the Mirror: The Psychology of Self-Perception, Aging and Identity

Why does the reflection in the mirror often feel like a stranger? In this episode, Professor RJ Starr explores the psychology of self-perception, aging, and identity—revealing how memory, emotion, and social feedback shape the way we see ourselves, and why it rarely aligns with who we truly are inside.

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When Dreams Get Loud: What Your Mind Is Trying to Tell You

If your dreams feel like they’re shouting at you—loud, vivid, and emotionally overwhelming—this episode unpacks why. From emotional overload to sensory sensitivity, your brain may be trying to speak louder than your waking life allows. Let’s explore what your mind is really trying to say—and how to turn the volume down.

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The Psychology of Confident Ignorance

Most people don't realize their certainty is built on air. In this episode, RJ Starr unpacks the psychology of confident ignorance—how our minds mistake familiarity for understanding, and how distraction and shortcut thinking quietly dismantle our ability to handle complexity, conflict, and real life.

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The Psychology of Attire: How Clothing Shapes Identity and Perception

Clothing doesn’t just reflect who we are—it shapes how we think, feel, and interact. In this episode of The Psychology of Us, Professor RJ Starr explores the mental effects of what we wear, how enclothed cognition works, and why dressing with intention can enhance confidence, identity, and psychological clarity.

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The Psychology of Approval: Why Being Liked Feels Like Survival

What does it cost to be liked? In this episode, Professor RJ Starr explores the psychology of approval-seeking—why our brains treat rejection like danger, and how chasing acceptance can quietly erode our sense of self. This is a call to stop performing, start telling the truth, and live from your own center.

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