The Psychology of Division: Why Some Leaders Thrive on Conflict
“Some people don’t just tolerate conflict—they manufacture it. In this episode, I unpack why certain leaders thrive on division, how they use fear and loyalty to manipulate, and how understanding their psychology is the first step to resisting it.”
Transcript
Welcome to The Psychology of Us, the podcast where we explore the fascinating ways psychology shapes our lives, our choices, and our relationships. I’m Professor RJ Starr, your host, and I’m thrilled to have you here. Today’s episode is a deep dive into the psychology of division—the tactics and motivations behind why some leaders and public figures thrive on creating conflict and pitting people against one another. We’ll explore the principles that drive this behavior, how it impacts us as individuals and as a society, and what we can do to resist its pull. Whether you’re a psychology enthusiast or simply curious about understanding the world around you, this episode is for you. Let’s get started.
Why is it that some leaders seem to thrive on division? Why do certain public figures stir the pot, pit people against one another, and frame the world in terms of “us versus them”? Today, we’re diving into the psychology behind these behaviors—not to call out specific individuals, but to examine the principles that drive them.
Now, I’ll be honest with you: as we go along, it’s likely that certain names will come to mind. That’s natural. These patterns are visible in so many corners of society—politics, media, even in our workplaces or communities. But this conversation isn’t about pointing fingers. Instead, I want us to take a step back and really think about what’s happening beneath the surface.
We’re talking about the kind of behavior that leverages fear, anger, and loyalty to divide people into in-groups and out-groups. This isn’t just coincidence or happenstance; it’s a calculated, deliberate strategy rooted in human psychology. And while it can seem like the world is unraveling when we witness this kind of behavior, understanding why it works is a powerful tool in resisting its pull.
I’ll be pulling in some psychological theories along the way—things like social identity theory, crowd dynamics, and even the role of certain personality traits. I’ll also share some stories and examples that will help us connect these abstract ideas to real life. You might even find that you’ve experienced some of this manipulation firsthand, whether you realized it at the time or not.
This isn’t just an academic exercise. It’s about empowering ourselves to see beyond the tactics, to understand the motivations of those who thrive on conflict, and to think critically about the messages we consume. And more importantly, it’s about reflecting on how we respond to those messages—how we navigate a world that sometimes feels intentionally divided.
So, as we move forward, I encourage you to listen with curiosity and reflection. Ask yourself not just what drives people to divide us, but how we, as individuals, can choose a different path. Together, let’s uncover the psychology of division, the tactics that fuel it, and how we can reclaim the power to resist it.
Let’s get started.
Human beings are wired to belong. It’s not just a preference—it’s a survival mechanism. Thousands of years ago, being part of a group meant protection, resources, and a greater chance of survival. That need for connection is still hardwired into us today. It’s part of what makes us human, but it’s also what makes us vulnerable to manipulation.
When leaders or public figures create division, they’re tapping into one of the most fundamental aspects of human psychology: our tendency to sort ourselves into groups. This is what psychologists call social identity theory. At its core, social identity theory explains that we define part of who we are based on the groups we belong to—our families, communities, political affiliations, even the teams we cheer for on a Saturday night.
But here’s where it gets tricky. When someone comes along and says, “Your group is better than theirs,” or worse, “Their group is a threat to yours,” it creates what we call an “us versus them” dynamic. This dynamic isn’t just emotional; it’s neurological. Research shows that when we perceive a threat to our group, the brain’s amygdala—the area associated with fear and emotional processing—lights up like a firework.
This is where divisive public figures excel. They don’t just create groups; they create conflict between them. For example, imagine someone in power saying, “Those people are taking what’s rightfully yours,” or “This group is dangerous to your way of life.” Statements like these aren’t just rhetoric—they’re psychological triggers. They tap into our instinct to protect the in-group and fear the out-group.
Let me share a story from my own life to illustrate this. Years ago, I attended a rally—not as a participant, but as an observer. I wanted to see how the energy of a crowd changes when a speaker ramps up their rhetoric. What I saw was striking. At the start, the crowd was calm, even jovial. But as the speaker began pointing fingers, blaming certain groups for society’s problems, the energy shifted. People became louder, angrier, more unified in their hostility. By the end, you could feel the tension in the air. The speaker had effectively transformed a gathering of individuals into a single, charged entity with a clear enemy.
This is a textbook example of crowd psychology. When we’re in a group, our emotions are amplified, and our critical thinking can take a backseat. The famous psychologist Gustave Le Bon once wrote about this, observing that in a crowd, people can lose their individuality and adopt the emotions and behaviors of the group. That’s why a skilled speaker can manipulate a crowd so effectively—they know how to ignite collective fear or anger.
But there’s another layer to this. Fear and uncertainty make us even more susceptible to these tactics. Think about how many of us felt during moments of crisis—the early days of the pandemic, for example, or periods of intense political conflict. When we’re anxious or uncertain, we look for someone to blame, someone to follow, or someone to provide simple answers to complex problems. Divisive leaders exploit this by positioning themselves as the voice of reason—or the protector—against an imagined or exaggerated threat.
And it works. Not because people are inherently gullible, but because the psychology of division is so deeply ingrained in us. When someone tells us, “This group is dangerous, but I’ll protect you,” it activates our primal need for safety and belonging. We want to trust them because the alternative—uncertainty—feels far scarier.
So, what does this mean for us? It means that division is not a symptom of weakness or ignorance; it’s a reflection of our humanity. But it’s also a reminder that we must remain vigilant. When you hear someone using fear or anger to rally support, pause and ask yourself: Who benefits from this message? What are they trying to achieve?
Understanding the psychology of division isn’t just about recognizing the tactics—it’s about reclaiming our power to think critically and respond thoughtfully. And as we move forward, we’ll explore how the personalities behind these tactics often amplify their impact.
Now that we’ve explored how divisive tactics work, let’s take a closer look at the personalities behind them. What kind of person thrives on creating division? What motivates them to pit people against one another? The answers lie in a fascinating—and sometimes troubling—intersection of psychology and personality.
To understand these individuals, we need to talk about a concept known as the Dark Triad. The Dark Triad refers to three overlapping personality traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. Now, I know these terms can sound dramatic, but they’re well-researched psychological constructs that help us understand certain behaviors.
“I Feel Like I’m Watching the Country Unravel and No One Cares”
Let’s start with narcissism. At its core, narcissism is characterized by a need for admiration, a sense of entitlement, and often an inflated sense of self-importance. When we think about public figures who thrive on division, narcissism plays a big role. These individuals often position themselves as the hero of the story, the savior of the in-group. They crave attention and validation, and there’s no easier way to get that than by creating conflict. After all, nothing draws a crowd like a fight.
But narcissism alone doesn’t explain everything. Enter Machiavellianism, which refers to a person’s tendency to manipulate others for personal gain. The term comes from Niccolò Machiavelli, the Renaissance political philosopher who famously argued that the ends justify the means. People with high levels of Machiavellianism are strategic thinkers. They’re not interested in right or wrong; they’re interested in winning. And they often see division as a tool—a means to an end.
Finally, we have psychopathy, which is characterized by a lack of empathy and remorse. Now, not all divisive figures are psychopaths, but when someone is willing to create harm, fuel hatred, or exploit fear without concern for the consequences, we’re seeing elements of psychopathy in action. This lack of emotional connection allows them to act in ways that most of us would find deeply uncomfortable or even unthinkable.
Together, these traits form a powerful combination that explains much of the behavior we’re discussing today. And while the Dark Triad might sound abstract, let me ground it in something more tangible.
Years ago, I came across a case study of a corporate leader—let’s call him John—who rose to power by fostering division within his organization. John would praise one department while criticizing another, rewarding loyalty with public recognition and punishing dissent by spreading rumors about those who disagreed with him. His approach created a highly competitive environment where employees were more focused on protecting themselves than collaborating with one another. And yet, John thrived. His tactics kept him at the center of attention and allowed him to consolidate power.
This isn’t so different from what we see in public figures who thrive on division. They create chaos because it benefits them. It shifts attention away from their flaws, weaknesses, or missteps and places it squarely on the conflict they’ve orchestrated. And, perhaps most importantly, it reinforces their role as the leader, the protector, or the arbiter of truth in the eyes of their followers.
But why do they do it? Is it purely about power, or is there something deeper at play? For many, it’s both. Creating division satisfies a need for control and significance. It feeds their ego, reinforces their sense of superiority, and keeps them in the spotlight. In some cases, it may even provide a sense of enjoyment or satisfaction—what psychologists sometimes refer to as duper’s delight. This is the subtle pleasure some people feel when they know they’ve outsmarted or manipulated others.
It’s also worth considering the role of projection and scapegoating. Divisive figures often project their insecurities, fears, or flaws onto the groups they demonize. If they feel inadequate, they might accuse others of incompetence. If they fear losing power, they might claim that the “out-group” is a threat to stability. By deflecting attention away from themselves, they protect their image and rally their followers around a common enemy.
But here’s the thing: these behaviors don’t exist in a vacuum. Divisive figures can only thrive if we, as a society, allow it. Their success depends on our reactions—on whether we buy into their narratives, amplify their messages, or let fear and anger guide our decisions.
And that’s why understanding the personalities behind these tactics is so important. It’s not about demonizing individuals; it’s about recognizing patterns and learning how to respond. When we understand what drives divisive behavior, we’re better equipped to resist it—to think critically, question motives, and choose unity over division.
In the next part, we’ll explore the impact this behavior has on society, from the psychological toll it takes on individuals to the broader consequences for our communities.
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Public Outrage: Why Bad Behavior Is on the Rise is available on Kindle, Apple Books, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords, and many more exceptional booksellers. Grab your copy today and join me in creating a more compassionate world.
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Division doesn’t just stay with the people who create it—it ripples outward, affecting all of us in profound ways. When leaders, public figures, or even individuals in our personal lives sow discord, the consequences are far-reaching. The psychological toll of living in a divided society goes deeper than many of us realize.
Let’s start on an individual level. When people feel trapped in an “us versus them” mindset, it changes how we think, feel, and interact with the world. Fear and anger become dominant emotions, crowding out empathy, curiosity, and critical thinking. Psychologists have found that when our brains are flooded with stress hormones like cortisol—often triggered by fear-inducing messages—we lose access to our higher reasoning abilities. Instead, we become reactive, defensive, and more likely to cling to the safety of our in-group.
I’ve seen this play out in a personal story that might resonate with you. Years ago, I had a friend—I’ll call him Michael—who became deeply entrenched in a particular political movement. What struck me wasn’t just how his views shifted, but how it affected his relationships. He stopped talking to people who didn’t share his perspective, often accusing them of being part of “the problem.” He was a kind, thoughtful person at heart, but this divisive rhetoric had drawn him into a place of constant fear and defensiveness.
Michael’s story isn’t unique. We see this happening on a much larger scale today. The more we’re exposed to divisive messaging, the more likely we are to view the world in black-and-white terms—good versus bad, right versus wrong, us versus them. But this way of thinking doesn’t just harm individuals; it tears at the fabric of our communities.
Think about how this impacts trust. In a divided society, trust erodes—not just between individuals, but in our institutions, our media, and even in the shared narratives that hold us together. Research shows that societies with high levels of polarization experience greater social anxiety, reduced cooperation, and a breakdown in civic engagement. People stop voting, stop volunteering, and stop investing in the collective good because they no longer believe it will make a difference.
Then there’s the role of social media. While platforms like Facebook or Twitter weren’t designed to create division, they’ve become fertile ground for it. Algorithms reward engagement, and nothing engages quite like outrage. When you see a post that sparks anger or fear, you’re more likely to share it, comment on it, or react to it—and the algorithm takes note, amplifying similar content to keep you scrolling. Over time, this creates echo chambers where people are exposed to only one side of an argument, reinforcing their biases and deepening the divide.
But the effects of this go beyond the screen. Consider what it feels like to live in a society where division dominates the public narrative. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Constant conflict wears us down, emotionally and physically. People report higher levels of anxiety, depression, and loneliness in highly polarized environments. And yet, the more stressed and isolated we feel, the more vulnerable we become to those same divisive messages. It’s a vicious cycle.
One of the most troubling impacts of division is how it stifles empathy. When someone convinces us that “the other side” is dangerous or unworthy, it becomes easier to dehumanize them. And when we stop seeing others as fully human, we lose the ability to connect, to understand, and to find common ground. This is where real harm happens—not just in words, but in actions. History has shown us time and time again how dangerous it can be when people are dehumanized.
But I don’t want this to feel hopeless. Because here’s the thing: division may feel overwhelming, but it’s not inevitable. It’s a choice—one made by the people who create it and one made by the people who engage with it. And understanding the impact of division is the first step toward resisting it.
So, what can we do? For one, we can start by noticing the tactics being used against us. When someone frames a conversation in terms of “us versus them,” ask yourself: What’s their motive? What do they stand to gain? And most importantly, how do their words make you feel? Are they encouraging you to connect, or are they pulling you apart?
We can also practice empathy—not just with those in our in-group, but with the people we’ve been told to fear or distrust. Empathy doesn’t mean agreeing with someone; it means being willing to see the world through their eyes, even for a moment. It means remembering that behind every “other” is a person with hopes, fears, and a story of their own.
Finally, we can focus on building bridges in our own lives. That might mean reaching out to someone you disagree with, finding shared values, or simply choosing to engage in conversations that bring people together rather than tearing them apart. Division thrives on disconnection, but unity starts with us—with the choices we make every day to connect, to listen, and to care.
In the next part, we’ll explore exactly how we can take these lessons and put them into action—both in our personal lives and in the way we approach society as a whole. Let’s keep going.
Understanding the psychology of division isn’t just an intellectual exercise—it’s a tool. It gives us the ability to see the mechanisms at play and recognize when we’re being manipulated. But more importantly, it invites us to ask: What do we do with this knowledge? How can we resist the pull of division and, in doing so, create a better world for ourselves and others?
First, we need to start with awareness. Divisive behavior often thrives in subtlety. It doesn’t announce itself with a neon sign saying, “You’re being manipulated.” Instead, it works its way into our lives through carefully crafted narratives, emotional appeals, and selective truths. That’s why the first step is to pause and ask questions.
When you hear a leader or public figure speak, ask yourself: What are they trying to make me feel? Fear? Anger? Superiority? And what do they gain if I feel this way? Are they encouraging me to think critically, or are they steering me toward a specific conclusion? These questions might seem small, but they’re incredibly powerful. They shift us out of automatic responses and into conscious thought, where we can evaluate the message rather than simply reacting to it.
Let me share an example from my own life. Several years ago, I found myself in a heated conversation about a controversial topic. I realized halfway through that I wasn’t really listening to the other person—I was just waiting for my turn to speak, to defend my point, to win. But then I paused and asked myself, “Why am I so invested in this argument? What’s driving my reaction?” That moment of self-awareness completely changed the conversation. Instead of debating, we started listening to each other. And while we didn’t walk away agreeing, we left with a better understanding of each other’s perspectives.
This kind of awareness isn’t just about conversations—it applies to everything we consume, from the news we read to the social media posts we share. When we recognize the tactics of division, we can make a conscious choice not to amplify them. Instead of sharing that inflammatory headline or retweeting that polarizing comment, we can pause and ask: Am I contributing to the problem, or am I part of the solution?
The next step is empathy. I know that word gets thrown around a lot, but it’s at the heart of resisting division. Empathy doesn’t mean agreeing with someone; it means being willing to see the world through their eyes. And let’s be honest—that’s not always easy. It’s much simpler to dismiss people we disagree with than to try to understand them. But when we make the effort, something incredible happens: we start to see them as human, not just as members of an opposing group.
Empathy doesn’t have to be grand or dramatic. It can start with something as simple as a conversation. Ask someone why they feel the way they do. Really listen to their answer. You might not agree with their perspective, but you’ll gain insight into their experiences, their fears, their hopes. And in doing so, you’ll be building a bridge—one that makes division just a little bit harder to sustain.
But empathy isn’t just about individuals; it’s about systems, too. Division is often a reflection of deeper societal issues—inequality, injustice, unmet needs. When we focus solely on the behavior of divisive figures, we risk overlooking the conditions that allow them to thrive. So, as we work to resist division, we also need to address the root causes that fuel it. That might mean advocating for fairer policies, supporting organizations that promote unity, or simply starting conversations about the changes we want to see in our communities.
Finally, let’s talk about resilience. Living in a divided society can feel overwhelming, even hopeless at times. But resilience is about finding strength in connection, in purpose, and in the belief that change is possible. One way to build resilience is to focus on shared values. What do you have in common with the people around you, even those you disagree with? What are the things that bring you together, rather than pull you apart?
Another way is to cultivate spaces of unity. That might mean creating opportunities for dialogue, participating in community events, or simply spending time with people who remind you of the good in the world. Division feeds on isolation, but connection starves it.
And let’s not forget the importance of self-care in this process. It’s hard to resist division when we’re burnt out, overwhelmed, or angry. So, take care of yourself. Step away from the noise when you need to. Find joy in the small things. Remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup, and resisting division starts with being whole and grounded yourself.
At the end of the day, the psychology of division isn’t just about them—it’s about us. It’s about how we choose to respond, how we choose to connect, and how we choose to build a better world. We can’t control the behavior of divisive figures, but we can control how we react to them. We can choose critical thinking over fear, empathy over anger, and unity over division.
And that’s where the real power lies—not in the hands of the people who seek to divide us, but in our own ability to resist, to connect, and to rise above.
Let’s carry this forward. Together, we can create something stronger, something better—one choice at a time.
As we come to the end of this episode, I want to thank you for taking this journey with me. Today, we’ve explored the psychology of division—how it works, who uses it, and the impact it has on all of us. We’ve uncovered the subtle and not-so-subtle tactics that leaders and public figures use to pit us against one another, and we’ve reflected on the toll this takes on our minds, our relationships, and our communities.
But most importantly, we’ve talked about what we can do. Understanding the psychology of division gives us the power to recognize when it’s happening and, more importantly, to resist it. It reminds us that while we can’t always control the behavior of others, we can control how we respond.
And here’s the truth: the world doesn’t have to stay divided. We have the tools to bridge these gaps—to choose empathy, awareness, and connection over fear, anger, and conflict. It starts with small moments—pausing to think critically, listening with intention, or finding common ground where it feels like none exists.
I know this isn’t easy. Division is loud. It demands our attention, it stirs our emotions, and it often feels impossible to ignore. But every time we choose unity over division, we create a ripple. And those ripples, over time, have the power to change everything.
So, as you go about your day, I encourage you to reflect on what you’ve heard today. Look for the moments where division is being sown—and ask yourself what you can do to disrupt it. How can you be a force for connection, for understanding, for something greater?
Thank you for joining me on this episode of The Psychology of Us. If you have questions, thoughts, or ideas for future topics, I’d love to hear from you. You can reach me at ProfRJStarr@outlook.com. Your insights and feedback mean so much to me, and they help shape the conversations we have here.
Until next time, remember this: the power to resist division lies within each of us. Together, we can choose a path of understanding, empathy, and connection. Thank you for listening, and I’ll see you next time.