The Stories We Tell Ourselves
What If the Story You’re Living Isn’t the One You Want?
We all tell stories about who we are—quietly, unconsciously, all the time. We tell ourselves we’re not good at relationships. That we’re too late to start over. That we always mess things up, or that we’re the one who always has to hold everything together. These aren’t just passing thoughts. They’re scripts we live by. And they shape our choices more than we realize.
I wrote The Stories We Tell Ourselves: How Personal Narratives Shape Your Life because I’ve seen how powerful these inner narratives can be—both in my own life and in the lives of those I teach, coach, and work beside. They can be the reason we stay stuck or the reason we finally take a leap. They can trap us in old versions of ourselves, or they can become the scaffolding for a life that feels honest, meaningful, and truly ours.
This book is about learning to recognize those stories—and then choosing which ones deserve to stay.
You Are the Narrator, Not Just the Character
The stories we tell ourselves don’t usually announce themselves as “stories.” They show up as beliefs that feel like facts: I always screw this up. I don’t belong here. People don’t really care what I have to say. These internalized scripts often have roots in early experiences, family dynamics, or cultural messages we never thought to question. And because they feel familiar, we trust them—even when they limit us.
One of the most transformative things we can do is step back and ask, “Is this story still serving me?” In The Stories We Tell Ourselves, I walk you through that process. Chapter by chapter, you’ll uncover how your personal narrative was shaped, how to spot the limiting beliefs it contains, and how to challenge and reframe those beliefs through proven psychological methods like narrative therapy and cognitive restructuring.
This isn’t just about positive thinking or affirmations. It’s about shifting the deeper narrative arc of your life—from one that holds you back to one that moves you forward with intention.
From Reflection to Rewrite
What makes this work so powerful is its honesty. I don’t ask you to sugarcoat your story or ignore the pain in your past. Instead, I encourage you to make space for all of it—and then decide how you want to carry it. We explore how to build new narratives grounded in truth, resilience, and values. How to see yourself not as broken, but as becoming. And how to write the next chapter of your life with clarity and purpose.
You’ll find exercises to help you identify key turning points in your story, recognize patterns, and choose different outcomes. You’ll meet others—real people, not fictional examples—who have rewritten their stories in the face of grief, failure, change, and reinvention. And you’ll come to understand that while we can’t always choose what happens to us, we can choose the meaning we assign to it.
Because meaning is where the shift happens. It’s the hinge between pain and growth, between fear and possibility.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves is for anyone who’s ever felt stuck in a narrative they didn’t choose. It’s for those who are ready to take authorship of their lives, not by pretending everything is perfect, but by choosing a story rooted in authenticity, courage, and hope.
If you’ve been wondering why you feel the way you do—or why you keep repeating certain patterns—this book will help you trace it back to the script. And then, gently and with support, rewrite it into something that feels far more true.
It’s not too late to change the story. In fact, it’s one of the most powerful things you’ll ever do.