Essays

Essays on psychological clarity, emotional regulation, identity, and the conditions that allow people to think, relate, and live with coherence.

Some truths can’t be compressed; they need space to become clear.

These essays are not reactions or hot takes. They examine the psychological structures beneath everyday experience — how attention, emotion, identity, and meaning actually function under modern conditions. Drawing from psychology, lived experience, and cultural analysis, each piece is written to clarify what’s happening beneath the surface, not to entertain, provoke, or reassure.

RJ Starr 10/19/25 RJ Starr 10/19/25

The Architecture of Meaning: Routine and the Good Life

This essay explores the moral and existential psychology of routine—how daily repetition forms character, sustains meaning, and stabilizes the self. Drawing from Aristotle, William James, and Viktor Frankl, RJ Starr argues that life’s depth is not found in novelty but in the faithful rhythms that hold us steady. Routine, he suggests, is not the enemy of freedom, but its quiet foundation—the architecture of a good and meaningful life.

RJ Starr 6/16/25 RJ Starr 6/16/25

The People We Loved Along the Way

As we move through life, we form deep bonds that feel permanent—childhood best friends, chosen families in our twenties, shared lives in love. But time has its own rhythm. People drift, chapters close, and yet the love remains. This essay reflects on the quiet grace of letting go while honoring those who once meant everything. Not lost—just carried differently, sweet for having been.

RJ Starr 2/27/25 RJ Starr 2/27/25

Time, Loss, and the Stories We Keep

Time loss stems from narrative disruption, not just busyness. This article explores how repetitive lives blur memory, creating the illusion of vanished years, and how intentional story-making through novelty, reflection, and purpose can restore our sense of time’s richness and depth.

RJ Starr 1/30/25 RJ Starr 1/30/25

The Afternoon of Life: A Journey to Freedom and Meaning

The "afternoon of life" marks a midlife shift from external achievement to deeper meaning. This article explores how restlessness and disillusionment can spark authentic self-discovery, drawing on Jungian psychology to reveal the potential for renewed purpose and emotional freedom.

RJ Starr 1/2/25 RJ Starr 1/2/25

Ceremonies, Rituals and Purpose

Ceremonies and rituals meet psychological needs by turning ordinary moments into meaningful narratives. This article explores how structured traditions regulate emotions, mark transitions, and foster identity, emphasizing how intentional rituals combat modern alienation and provide existential grounding.

RJ Starr 11/22/24 RJ Starr 11/22/24

From Ethics to Existence: Kantian Philosophy and Existential Psychology

Kantian ethics and existential psychology approach human purpose from different angles—universal moral duty versus individual meaning-making. This article explores how combining Kant’s structure with existentialism’s focus on authenticity can create a more balanced framework for living.

Emotional intelligence isn’t just a workplace skill or buzzword. It's the foundation of how we stay human in an overstimulated world. It’s how we create safety, connection, and clarity in the relationships that matter most.
Overthinking is rarely about insight. It’s about emotional avoidance disguised as analysis. True understanding begins not in your thoughts, but in your willingness to stay with what’s uncomfortable without trying to fix or escape it immediately.
Self-awareness is not a luxury or a personality trait, it’s a psychological infrastructure. Without it, we repeat patterns, misread situations, and lose the ability to act with intention instead of reaction.
Boundaries are not about pushing people away. They’re how we take emotional responsibility for what we can handle, what we value, and how we want to be treated in relationships that actually matter to us.
Emotional maturity isn’t measured by how little we feel. It’s shown in how we carry big emotions without letting them hijack our behavior. It’s the quiet strength of presence, not performance.
You don’t have to erase your past to heal, you just have to stop letting it silently write the present. Healing is a return to authorship over your life, not a denial of what shaped you.
Clarity often feels like calm. Not because everything is perfect, but because you’re no longer performing, pretending, or explaining yourself to people who never learned how to listen with care.
Self-trust is not about always knowing the answer. It’s about knowing you can stay present, even when you don’t. It’s a psychological anchor in a world that rewards dissociation and speed.
When we can name what we’re feeling without shame, we begin to reclaim agency over our inner life. Language is a psychological bridge between experience and understanding; it lets us carry what we used to avoid.
You are not “too much.” You are simply carrying the emotional weight of people who never learned to sit with discomfort, so they handed it to you instead.

Essays

Essays on psychological clarity, emotional regulation, identity, and the conditions that allow people to think, relate, and live with coherence.

Some truths can’t be compressed; they need space to become clear.

The Architecture of Meaning: Routine and the Good Life

The People We Loved Along the Way

Time, Loss, and the Stories We Keep

The Afternoon of Life: A Journey to Freedom and Meaning

Ceremonies, Rituals and Purpose

From Ethics to Existence: Kantian Philosophy and Existential Psychology

Emotional intelligence isn’t just a workplace skill or buzzword. It's the foundation of how we stay human in an overstimulated world. It’s how we create safety, connection, and clarity in the relationships that matter most.

Overthinking is rarely about insight. It’s about emotional avoidance disguised as analysis. True understanding begins not in your thoughts, but in your willingness to stay with what’s uncomfortable without trying to fix or escape it immediately.

Self-awareness is not a luxury or a personality trait, it’s a psychological infrastructure. Without it, we repeat patterns, misread situations, and lose the ability to act with intention instead of reaction.

Boundaries are not about pushing people away. They’re how we take emotional responsibility for what we can handle, what we value, and how we want to be treated in relationships that actually matter to us.

Emotional maturity isn’t measured by how little we feel. It’s shown in how we carry big emotions without letting them hijack our behavior. It’s the quiet strength of presence, not performance.

You don’t have to erase your past to heal, you just have to stop letting it silently write the present. Healing is a return to authorship over your life, not a denial of what shaped you.

Clarity often feels like calm. Not because everything is perfect, but because you’re no longer performing, pretending, or explaining yourself to people who never learned how to listen with care.

Self-trust is not about always knowing the answer. It’s about knowing you can stay present, even when you don’t. It’s a psychological anchor in a world that rewards dissociation and speed.

When we can name what we’re feeling without shame, we begin to reclaim agency over our inner life. Language is a psychological bridge between experience and understanding; it lets us carry what we used to avoid.

You are not “too much.” You are simply carrying the emotional weight of people who never learned to sit with discomfort, so they handed it to you instead.

Professor RJ Starr

Integrating psychology, culture, and meaning to understand the forces shaping modern life.

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