Essays
Essays on self-awareness, emotional intelligence, identity, and the psychology of living with clarity, purpose, and connection.
These essays offer more than takes — they offer perspective. Drawing from psychology, lived experience, and cultural insight, each piece explores what it means to be self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and human in a complicated world. Written to make you think, feel, and come back to yourself — not just scroll past.
Some truths don’t fit in a post — they need room to unfold.
Being the Adult in the Room: Emotional Immaturity in an Unhinged World
From airline meltdowns to viral tantrums and political spectacle, emotional immaturity has become the norm—not the outlier. This essay explores the quiet power of being the adult in the room: the one who stays calm, grounded, and emotionally intelligent in a world that rewards chaos. When everyone else is unraveling, maturity isn’t just a personal strength—it’s a public service.
What Kind of Neighbor Are You When No One’s Watching?
In shared spaces, kindness isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about tone, presence, and how we choose to treat each other when no one’s watching. This article explores the quiet psychology of neighborliness, the emotional cost of detachment, and why small acts of consideration—like a warm smile or a gentle reply—can change the emotional temperature of an entire community. What kind of neighbor are you becoming?
Anywhere But Here
The "anywhere but here" mindset reveals how chasing future happiness can erode presence. This article explores how comparison traps, the myth of arrival, and negativity bias fuel chronic dissatisfaction—and why true contentment begins not with changing circumstances, but with retraining attention toward the present.
The Psychology of Denial in a Crumbling America
Collective denial is a psychological defense that helps societies avoid uncomfortable truths. This article explores how confirmation bias, nostalgia, and social echo chambers fuel avoidance, and how breaking the cycle depends on fostering curiosity and creating spaces safe enough to face reality without fear.
Why I Wrote “Gone Without Goodbye”
Gone Without Goodbye emerged from personal grief and the universal struggle to process sudden loss. This essay explores how creative expression transforms private pain into shared meaning and how storytelling helps preserve connections, confront absence, and find coherence in life’s disruptions.
The Psychology of Belief | Why We Believe Things Without Evidence
Why do we believe what we do—even when the evidence says otherwise? In this episode, Professor RJ Starr unpacks the psychology of belief: how it forms, why it persists, and what it reveals about identity, emotion, and human nature. From cognitive bias to charismatic influence, belief is more than thought—it’s survival.
The Psychology of Mockery
Mockery binds groups through shared laughter while excluding others through humiliation. This article explores how ridicule reinforces social hierarchies, masks insecurity, and inflicts real psychological pain, and why healthier forms of humor rooted in inclusivity offer a more constructive alternative.
Doomscrolling
Doomscrolling hijacks the brain’s threat-detection systems, trapping users in cycles of anxiety and compulsive news consumption. This article explains how negative news feeds reinforce stress patterns and offers science-backed strategies like media fasts and solution-focused habits to help break free.
Time, Loss, and the Stories We Keep
Time loss stems from narrative disruption, not just busyness. This article explores how repetitive lives blur memory, creating the illusion of vanished years, and how intentional story-making through novelty, reflection, and purpose can restore our sense of time’s richness and depth.
When Clothing Becomes Control
Clothing serves as a psychological interface between self and society. This article explores how dress codes, uniforms, and fashion norms regulate behavior, reinforce hierarchies, and shape identity, revealing how even self-expression often conforms to socially pre-approved templates.
Magical Thinking and the Mind
Magical thinking arises from the mind’s need for patterns and control. This article explores how superstitions fulfill emotional needs, how threat-detection systems favor false positives, and why unchecked magical thinking can distort risk perception and fuel conspiracy beliefs in modern life.
The Rise of Hostile Elders
The "hostile elder" phenomenon stems from perceived status loss, cultural shifts, and aging-related negativity bias. This article explores how late-life hostility often reflects deeper struggles with relevance and how restoring purpose and fostering dialogue can ease intergenerational tensions.
The Afternoon of Life: A Journey to Freedom and Meaning
The "afternoon of life" marks a midlife shift from external achievement to deeper meaning. This article explores how restlessness and disillusionment can spark authentic self-discovery, drawing on Jungian psychology to reveal the potential for renewed purpose and emotional freedom.
The Psychology of Decision-Making
Decision-making is shaped more by subconscious forces than pure logic. This article explores how biases, emotions, and environmental cues distort choices, how factors like overload and fatigue worsen decisions, and offers strategies to structure choices and manage emotional interference.
The Psychology of Resilience
Resilience is a dynamic process shaped by flexibility, coping strategies, and learned behaviors. This article explores emotional regulation, cognitive reframing, and purposeful action as core components, showing how resilience grows through manageable challenges, support, and self-compassion.
The Psychology of Lone-Actor Terrorists
Lone-actor terrorists are often driven by personal grievances, marginalization, and identity fusion with extremist narratives. This article explores how traits like alienation and victimhood combine with online radicalization, and how early warning signs could enable prevention efforts.
Ceremonies, Rituals and Purpose
Ceremonies and rituals meet psychological needs by turning ordinary moments into meaningful narratives. This article explores how structured traditions regulate emotions, mark transitions, and foster identity, emphasizing how intentional rituals combat modern alienation and provide existential grounding.
The “Us vs. Them” Mentality
The "us vs. them" mentality stems from evolutionary instincts and social identity needs, fostering division and conflict. This article explores how binary thinking fuels dehumanization and stereotypes, and how recognizing shared humanity and embracing complexity can help break the cycle.
The Psychology of Christmas Carols
Christmas carols hold psychological power by triggering nostalgia, strengthening social bonds, and evoking warmth and belonging. This article explores how their simple structures and traditions create emotional connections, serving as lasting markers of time and cultural identity.
Choosing Who We Become
Personal growth is not about finding a fixed self but actively shaping identity through deliberate action. This article explores how consistent choices, reflection, and behavioral commitments drive transformation, showing that true change emerges from reshaping habits and self-narratives over time.