
The Messy Middle
Real questions from students and followers. Honest responses from the in–between.
These are not advice columns. They are quiet, thoughtful responses to real questions asked by my students and followers navigating life’s uncertain moments. Each story begins with a sentence someone submitted—about grief, change, identity, loss, or not knowing who they are anymore. From there, I write from the in–between. Not to fix. To be with. What you’ll find here isn’t a how-to. It’s a space where becoming is still in progress.
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This is a collection of emotionally grounded responses to real questions submitted by readers. Each entry is written from the place between clarity and conclusion—where something is shifting inside, but the meaning hasn’t fully arrived. If my essays offer insight, these stories offer presence. It’s not about what’s been figured out. It’s about what’s still unfolding.
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The essays on my site are structured, clear, and psychologically resolved. They’re meant to offer understanding. The Messy Middle is different. These pieces are written in direct response to what someone is carrying. They’re more personal, less polished, and intentionally unfinished. They sit with ambiguity, emotional transition, and the quiet honesty of not yet knowing.
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The questions that spark these stories are often short and emotionally raw. A single sentence is enough. “I thought I was over it. Then today happened.” “I don’t know who I am anymore.” “I left, but I still miss them.” These fragments don’t need to be explained—they just need to be real. If it’s something you’ve been carrying and don’t have words for yet, this might be the place to start.
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If you’re holding something in the in–between—grief, confusion, loneliness, transition—you’re invited to send a single sentence, a brief reflection, or a quiet wondering. You can stay anonymous if you prefer. I don’t respond to every submission, but I read them all with care. Some may become the spark for a future story here.
“I Used to Be Someone People Looked Up To. Now I Don’t Even Recognize Myself”
When your old identity fades and you no longer see yourself in the mirror, it’s not weakness—it’s the disorientation of change. You’re not lost. You’re becoming. And recognition takes time when you’ve been holding so much.
“I Miss the Person I Was Before Everything Fell Apart”
Sometimes the deepest grief is not for what was lost, but for who we were before the loss. This is a reflection on identity, fatigue, survival, and the quiet ache of missing a former version of yourself.
“Everyone Thinks I’m Doing Fine, But I Haven’t Felt Like Myself in Months”
You’re functioning, but not really present. This reflection explores what it means to feel emotionally disconnected while everything on the outside still looks fine—and why naming your own numbness is often the first step back to feeling real again.
“Everyone Thinks I’m Doing Fine, but I Haven’t Felt Like Myself in Months”
When your life looks fine from the outside, but inside you feel numb, adrift, or like a stranger to yourself—it can be hard to even explain what’s wrong. This piece sits with the quiet pain of disconnection, and the slow return to feeling real again.
“I Don’t Know Who I am When No One Needs Me”
What happens when the roles that once defined you begin to fade? When no one calls, the house is quiet, and your usefulness no longer defines your days? In this tender reflection, we explore the disorienting in-between that follows a life of being needed—and what it means to meet yourself in that silence